You are a golfer when….

1. You find a crawling ant on the green louder than a screaming wife at home
   
2. You might be late for every meeting while you would be standing sharp on time for your tee-time
   
3. You might be an atheist for life but would think of God before hitting every shot
   
4. You stand on a beautiful beach and the sight of sand gives you a fright
   
5. You suddenly find yourself spreading your legs and wiggling your bum in a crowded room
   
6. You find yourself practicing writing with the golf grip
   
7. You see Jaani Rajkumar in a new light when you discover those hideous white shoes are actually golf shoes
   
8. You find yourself smiling at your mom-in-law after a great golf round
   
9. Your every holiday destination needs to have at least one golf course
   
10. Your wife says tea-time and your eyes light up
    
11. No one can tell you a golf joke you have not heard or read before
    
12. You take your golf set along when buying a new car
    
13. There is no posture of yoga that you cannot do
    
14. You convince your wife that caddying for you is quality time.
    
15. Swinging alone is also fun
    
16. All your friends have an handicap
    
17. You still have the hope of playing good golf week after week even after sucking at it for the last seventeen years
    
18. You are not a cow but grass makes you drool