Tourist

I envy the people who become part of the new cities they move to.

People who embrace the change that comes with the change.

Read a beautifully written article by Gauri about Kolkata and the evolution of her relationship with the city.

People say cities have their own unique personality. And your interaction with their unique traits redefines you as a person. Each city carries with it its unique smell, distinctive sound, individual voice, singular touch. And with time you immerse yourself in it and become a tide of its flow.

I wonder how that happens.

I have lived in many cities but somehow my own voice muted any other sound around me.

I lived in Pune and was never touched by its spirituality. I lived in Delhi and never heard its boisterous voice. I missed Mumbai’s smell of sea. I never tasted Bangalore’s sweetness and never saw the vibrant colors of Panjab.

I look back at all those years and the tragedy of life stares back at me.

There are multitudes of worlds around me and in this myriad is a world that is mine, is me. And every time I see a new world I have two options, either bring my world to the new world or fight against the new world to protect my world.

I chose to fight and unfortunately won each time. I surrounded myself with the known, the comfortable and the familiar.

I have never have had friend in any of those cities who was a local. I moved with outsiders like me, their own microscopic worlds no threat to mine. We all saw this unique world from outside.

I was probably a tourist in each of these cities, clicking my pictures for the photo album to be
shared with friends & family once the vacation was over.

I know now what I should have known then and I still live in a new city.

Will I change?

Unfortunately no.

For me there is now only one world, world of my creation.

Microscopic, insignificant but mine.

Resident of my asylum & confined for life.