Monday, December 24, 2007

You talkin to me

Disclaimer: This is just a rough draft and initial thoughts.

When was the last time you had a conversation? When the last time you met someone interesting?

Chances are some of you might say, today, yesterday, or maybe some time in the near past.
But did you really have a conversation or there were two or more people talking about themselves - all talking and no one listening.

It has become so difficult to find someone you can talk to, have a discussion, say or listen to meaningful words.

I believe there are many reasons why we cannot have a conversation.

The primary culprit is our inward focus. ‘I’ has become the center of the universe. We are so concerned about our needs and concerns that we do not pay any attention to things around us. And this need is largely materialistic. I for example - and this is also true for lots of people I know and meet - find it so difficult to think of things which are not management. Success is measured in INR or USD or GBP. My role models are people who are richer than me. People no longer listen to others and are not interested in their thoughts. Only words which offer personal gratification are of our interest everything else nothing but white noise.

"Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore, I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It kills communication." - Groucho Marx

The fall out of this is that any ‘irrelevant conversation’ is target of our derision. If we go to a small town (where real conversations still exist) or hear someone from the lower strata of the society discussing politics or talking about the world affairs, we find the whole thing absurd, if not downright hilarious – dude first change your own miserable world before you think about changing the world.

We have become a society of cynics.

Third and the biggest killer of conversation are our limited range and interests. Money, money, money. Management books today probably outsell the more relevant books. We find so difficult to pick up a book that will make us think. Frivolous books, talk shows, reality shows have a wider audience than radical thoughts and ideas.

When was the last time you read about a real issue and if you did, you found someone to share and discuss it?

We indulge in many personal monologues but have no conversation.

Remember words change the world even before action does.

Conversation is about listening,

Conversation is about understanding,

Conversation is about sharing.

To listen well, is as powerful a means ofinfluence as to talk well, and is as essential to all true conversation.

Conversation is about being alive to the world around you.

Last words –

"You want people walking away from the conversation with some kernel of wisdom or some kind of impact." Harry Dean Stanton

2 comments:

Gauri Gharpure said...

point well made...i agree much with 'We have become a society of cynics' statement tht u have made.

Find more and more highly smart, intelligent people who put up logical arguments jus for the heck of putting across a 'smartass, out of the box theory'..

m afraid and anxious tht in such a crowd, if m also losing the remnants of inclination to conversation tht i had...

Anonymous said...

coming from you, i am surprised by this post.

you do manage to have quite a few meaningful conversations.